Blog

Dun’no, Askit

Don’no 2019 aka Kiggy

I came to the realization today that humans are very strange indeed. We claim to be rational and logical and yet we are driven by something way different then logic or rational thinking.

In the month of August 2002, my soon to be husband and I bought our first home together. We were moving some stuff in and planning on spending our first night together in our new home. Tim realized that he had forgotten his toothbrush at his parents house (that is just a few houses away). I offered to run over and get it for him.

I did not know when I went there for a simple toothbrush that our family would be changed.

I went into his parents home and was on the way to his bedroom when two little fur balls came running over to my feet. To look at them they were identical babies, twins.

I proceeded to get what I came for, went back to my new home, and asked if we could bring the two little kittens home. He of course said “No”. I asked again, with the same result. So of course I asked again, and again, and again. Until I got a “well okay”!

Wasn’t many days till those two little fur balls came home. We had to then come up with names. We ran through a list of the usual cat names, and nothing stuck. Then my genius of a man came up with “Dun’no and Askit”. He said if anyone asked us their names, we could say “Dun’no, Askit.” Their names brought a lot of giggles through the years. Genius!

They were pretty good cats, doing cat things. Like ignoring us unless they wanted attention, demanding that we be there own personal doormen, wanting food on their schedule. Typical cats.

One night maybe ten years in, one of the sisters, scooted out the door. (They were never supposed to know the great outdoors, but that’s another story.) They liked to go outside in the summer months but never left our yard. That night her stubborn determination to slip out into the dark probably turned her into a snack for a roving fisher that we had not known had moved into the neighbourhood. We searched but never found a trace of her. A sad day indeed.

We still had Dun’no, who still ignored us until she the “queen of the house”, wanted something. And then she would demand and we would cave.

Then things changed a few years back in our relationship. We were going on vacation, and we had it arranged for someone to come and live at our house while we were away to take care of our pets. Well we thought it was arranged, they backed out the night before.

We hustled and called, and my mother-in-law said she would take care of the dog and come over daily and take care of the cat and the fish. Which she did. She likes cats a lot so Dun’no was well cared for, but even so she was still alone a lot (with the radio on) while we were away.

When we came home, Dun’no became Kiggy (my oldest daughter started this nick name). She was a changed cat. She couldn’t get enough of us. Waking me up multiple times a night just to be pet. Needing ‘sooth my cat music’ at night to know she wasn’t alone while we slept. We were important to her. We WERE her’s.

Well as time always does it kept moving along, and she kept getting older. Her hips got a little week. It was harder to keep weight on her. She was an ol’ girl, but lovingly devoted, regularly coming for snuggles and attention.

The last couple of months she started loosing a lot of weight. She ate well, still snuggled and purred. We needed to get puppy pads because she didn’t always go to the litter box, but she would pee on the pads.

She decided that after all these years of dining on the floor, that she was old enough to join us at the table and thought that eating off our plates was fine. I decided that setting a place for her on a chair with her cat food was what I could do for such an old faithful girl. She seemed to like that.

Then a couple days ago things took a bad turn. She couldn’t get around well. Worse than normal. But her heart was strong and her spirit stronger and she would not let go. I was forced to make a choice for my friend. I had to let go of my faithful friend of nearly 19 years.

As we were gathering her up in a warm fuzzy blanket to take her on her last drive, it came to me, “humans are strange indeed.”

Over and over again, we choose to open our homes and our hearts to little beings that we can almost certainly know that we will outlive. We open our hearts to the pain of loss and grief for a few short years of love and faithful companionship. Are we not logical beings? Is it not reasonable that we should avoid things that we know will give us pain?

More then reasonable logic, we have a much stronger drive. A drive that can sometimes lead us to grief or pain. It can even drive us into bad relationships. But it can also bring us joy, peace and laughter.

That drive is our need for love, and acceptance, as well as to give love and acceptance. Love trumps logic!

Sometimes we hurt for the privilege of the love of a pet that is so innocent and true. Or the love of a partner or friend that turns out not to be so innocent and true.

We were made for love, it calms us, it strengthens us. I know Kiggy’s fur has absorbed more than one round of my tears through the years. And I know her happiness was true sitting on my lap by the fire being stroked and loved, so simple and easy. So logic be damned, and humans be strange, and continue to love, because even though it hurts, love is what we are made for!

With love my ol’girl thanks for the lessons! 2002-2021

Stranger in my hometown

I don’t know if it’s because I am getting older, or if it’s because the ones I love are getting older and passing on? But I went back “home” the other day to do an errand and the strangest sensation overcame me as I was getting closer to town.

I moved away from my hometown right after high school. I guess part of the reason I moved was to find adventure, to find a job, to make a life. The rest of the reason, and probably more of a driving reason, now that I am honest with myself, was to run away from the pain and loss. The feelings of betrayal and being unseen, that threatened to destroy me there. It is crazy to think that a person can be so unaware of their own motivation in the moment.

As things turned out, for multiple reasons through the years, I did not get back very often to visit. The few times I did the town would be changed, the buildings, the businesses and even the people. I remember still talking like I belonged there, that it was my “hometown”, it was part of me after all. But as time past the people were foreign to me, the names unfamiliar.

This visit was different. As I approached the little village, that I had spent many hours walking around, playing at the park, buying candy at the store, I was overwhelmed by a sensation of loss and of not belonging any more.

It came to me, I am a stranger in “my own home town”!

Many of the anchors of my life, grandparents, the farm, aunts and uncles are gone from there. The family that remain and my friends all have lives I barely know anything about. Social media reveals some things, but really what happened to the meaningful relationships? Jobs, kids, finances, responsibility get in the way of connections.

Life was different back then. How far I have traveled away from connections, that I thought would never end.

Time is fleeting, and sometimes cruel. Moment by moment, it moves on, and we can only see the shadows of the time that have passed through our lives.

Where is my “home” now? I realize that “home” is really not a place at all. “Home” is a community. “Home” is connections. “Home” is family and friends that spend time together.

As for time? It is time to make time for our “community” and find the joy of belonging with each other! Time for building “home”!

(P.S. Anyone from “back home”, that wants to connect or reconnect, would really love to hear from you!)

Acts of kindness!

More beautiful because of the kindness that delivered it!

My husband and I were away on a relationship building weekend. Another couple was staying at the same place for their wedding anniversary. My husband had been joking around with them, being friendly. Later that evening the lovely lady delivered to me one of her anniversary roses and a couple of drinks for Tim and I. It really made my weekend. How much more beautiful because it was unexpected and just plane kind!

A later conversation revealed an exuberant personality that bubbled over and was somewhat contagious.

What impression do you leave behind when you converse with someone new? Is it what you would like to leave behind? How could we be more joyful and energetic the next time we meet someone new?

Turn back on your dream machine, today!

From CLI class Financial Liberty

I believe it is never to late to start to work on achieving your full potential.

I dare you to dream big today. What do you want? If you got what you wanted, what would you do with it?

Write down your dream, let your mind free from the bonds put upon it!

Just dream!

Understanding our values, beliefs, and purpose

The race is on! You know where you are going, but why are you bothering? What is pushing you to take the next step? What’s the prize?

If you don’t know why you are pushing yourselves what is the point of the effort at all?

When was the last time you slowed down to look at why you do what you do? Is what you are doing bring you satisfaction or are you going through the motions just to keep the roof over your head and your belly full? Are you driven to “look good” to others or are you purposefully living your life for something that fulfills a driving need deep inside of you? Are you living up to your full potential or are you a slave to your past decisions and can’t seem to break free to make the change in the world that you long to see?Are you driven by selfish ambition, or the greater good?

I believe you are created for a purpose! Do you have a grasp on the purpose you are to serve?

God made you to live life and live it abundantly. Do you feel you are living in abundance?

So what are your beliefs and values, do they line up with your purpose on this earth?

I am an encourager, God made me this way. I naturally want to see the best in people and for people. But what I have had to learn the hard way is that the “best” can be fleeting if stewardship is not picked up. If personal responsibility is not grasped. If victim mentality is not squashed under one’s heal and emotions are not examined and managed.

I can not “give” you lasting success, but I can teach how to use the tools to get it.

But first we must know why we are running in the first place, why do we want the prize. We must also exam our own personal stumbling blocks, so we can smash them and turn them into pebbles under our feet.

God wants the best for His people, the best is not name it and claim it, there is little value to character in that. Are you ready for the prize? Are you ready for the beauty of the scenery to get to the prize?

Slow down today, ask the Lord to reveal your purpose, tell Him your hearts desire, look at where your values and beliefs steer you to the goal, and where they create rugged terrain to get through. Then you will know that the next step in the race is worth the effort and you can encourage your teammates to get back into the race too.

Well it happened.

I said it wouldn’t happen this year. I had a plan in place. Not again, no not this year!

And then it did…

S.A.D struck, yes, the winter blues, the darkest nights and overcast days, left me broken. Unmotivated and down trodden my ability to function “normally” became strained to the breaking point.

Everyday it’s the same thing…wake up motivated with a plan. Work on school work, drive my daughter to work, a few other routines, then a break. A break that takes all afternoon, supper maybe, then pick up my daughter, then bed.

I have indulged in two full seasons of a Netflix show within a few days. My kids wonder do I still exist.

Every so often I have a couple days of normal, but for the last couple of weeks, ugh!

Thank the Lord for the months of the year. If I get through today, a fresh new start tomorrow.

I know that it’s all an illusion of newness, it’s not any different than today, but I will hold unto it. Refocus, keep my eyes on the prize. Celebrate the milestones along the way.

Good friends, good food, and new things to discover. Beauty and joy!

The days are getting noticeably longer, the sun is actually shining today.

LIFE IS GOOD!

Night beauty!

Now what?

You have set your goals, you know the steps you need to take to accomplish each of them, you have a time line….

Day one comes and goes. Success!!! Amazing!

Day two comes. You are struggling a bit, but you make it through.

Day three. The struggle to stay focused is tiring. Maybe a little teeny tiny set back won’t hurt.

Day four. First half of the day you are strong, you are focused, lunch time comes…full on crash and burn!!!

Now what? You have tried and tried and tried again. What’s the point of it anyway? Will it really change things for the better anyway?

STOP! Wait! Why is it so easy to fail, and how do you stop it?

One missing link may be that you have not taken the time to reconcile with what you will be leaving behind to get to the new and improved you.

Have you considered the trade offs? Is your subconscious fighting with fear of loss, or change, or that you might miss something good?

If some of your goals have quickly become derailed but you still long to achieve them, now is the time to sit down and make a pros and cons list of where you are, where you want to be, things that you will need to set aside, and things that you will receive when you succeed.

But this alone is not quite enough. Now add the emotional attachment that you have to what you are setting aside. How will it effect your happiness in the long run? What new joy will flood in when you have accomplished your goal?

Mourn and celebrate and then reset your goals with a fresh outlook, and plan, and move more easily forward into the new and improved you because ahead is brighter than behind!

morning light