Last night I was sitting having supper with my beautiful daughter, and I was curiously watching someone work with “cards”. After my daughter told me to stop staring, which I don’t believe I was staring, I was curiously watching, we continued chatting about this and that. I hesitated for a while, weighing in my mind whether I should mention something to her or not, (a very large faith dilemma for me), then I told her that someone had randomly offered to “tell my fortune”. I told her about how I was told that there was auras or signs on me. side note : I believe that God does provide signs and auras for lack of a better word, I just believe that we have to be careful in who and what we listen to.
Anyway the real point of this story is…my daughter kind of laughed, and said to me, “Mom, I don’t know about signs, but they probably want to help you, because you look like a wreck!”
She could not have chosen, stronger words. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe there was any malice intended at all. She was just being fully and completely unfiltered and honest.
Now here is my confession….I TRY DESPERATELY TO APPEAR PUT TOGETHER, I LOVE HARD, AND GET HURT OFTEN, I SUPPRESS INSTEAD OF DIRECTLY DEALING, MY LIFE IS CLUTTERED EXTERNALLY AS WELL AS IN MY MIND AND SOUL, I AVOID CONFLICT TO THE POINT OF SO MUCH PENT UP FRUSTRATION THAT I OCCASIONALLY EXPLODE AND NOT USUALLY AT THE REAL PROBLEM BECAUSE IT WILL CAUSE CONFLICT WHICH I AVOID, MY BODY IS REBELLING AT THE WEIGHT OF WHAT I CARRY AND IF I DON’T CLEAN HOUSE I WILL PROBABLY DIE PREMATURELY!
So there you go the truth about me.
Today I choose to take Dr. Peterson’s advice, I am going to take a look at my insanely messy surroundings and in ten minute pieces I am going to begin to put it right. I am also going to water my body, that is extremely parched, from being too “busy” to keep hydrated the last few days.
How about you, what are you going to clean up today?
Almost sounds like a Flylady thing. Baby steps. We are unpacking boxes in baby steps. Unmarked boxes are an adventure. Come to think of it, so are some of the labeled boxes! The clutter has me jumping from one urgency to the next with no organization nor am I completing my urgencies – only doing what I have to to put them on hold for a bit, hoping that soon I will be organized enough to deal with them properly. *sigh* Baby steps…. baby steps and it will all come together.
I jumped into the flylady fb site again to be motivated by the encouragement, also started playing Christmas music, trying to get that childhood excitement back. Attacking my bathroom/laundryroom to put up my new shelving unit. Letting oldest daughter loose on boxes. STRETCH!!! My control freak is melting down!! Baby steps! Breath, drink water!