Victory on Sunday, Failure by Tuesday

Whatever is true, honorable, right and pure…think…

How the mighty-in-thought fall? How to be a hypocrite in 5 easy steps? The possibility for the titles I could put to these thoughts seems endless and somewhat amusing in a “head lowering, shame filled” way. Let me start at the beginning…

Sunday morning, I got up on fire for God. I felt filled with joy. I could not wait to worship. I invited all my family to come with me. Unfortunately, none did, but hey, I asked. On the way to worship, I tuned my van radio into the Christian radio station, hoping for some rocking out praise music, a sermon by Dr Charles Stanley on not selling our birth right for a bowl of soup was what I heard instead.

Service was filled with wonderful surprises. A guest speaker no one, not even Pastor knew was coming. Our worship leader was allowing the Holy Spirit to pour through her, and she was raising brand new songs spontaneously to the Lord. Then, after service, a spontaneous fellowship complete with lunch.

Having had no warning about our guests, I suggested ordering pizza. Agreed and done. There was no gluten-free. Luckily for me, I was prepared! I was not going to “sell my birthright” of a healthy body just for a slice of deep and delicious, yummy smelling pizza. After explaining that “no, I was not fasting”. I enjoyed and was amazed by the time in fellowship.

Well, time has a way of passing by without me noticing, so late in the afternoon, I went off to gather my daughter from work and then came home. Noticing the time I figured, I made it this far today, maybe I should finish the day out fasting.

I went to bed and woke up feeling rejuvenated. (Even though my sleep was not great, the fellowship buzzing around in my mind.)Wow, what an amazing start to the week. Really flying well now!

Tuesday!

Another great start to the day, lots done, and ate healthy in the morning. Afternoon comes…switch into my “mom’s taxi hat”. Drove Fred, check. Brought Fred home, check. NO TIME TO THINK, BREATH, EAT! Next kid loaded, kid a little ungrateful because Mom is running late. Mom’s h-anger kicks into overdrive. SNAP!CRACKLE!POP! and we aren’t talking no rice crispies!!

Dropped the kid off, ran errands for said kid. Ran through the store driven by unreasonable hunger! So much for self-control, birthright, patience! I did read the labels…well sort of. Hurry, hurry, hurry!

No wheat, haa relief, not starving, oh wait what does that label really say?

Hung my head in shame, apologized to everyone I snapped at, and today Friday feeling the wrath of my impatience in all of my joints and intestines.

Lessons taken…to stay healthy, happy, wise, plan ahead girl! I knew I had taxi-duty, I heard the still small voice say, “Take an apple with you.” Seriously, how much simpler can it get!

How easy it is for us mere humans to get off track when we get busy and don’t take the time to take care of ourselves. How can we be a shining example of health and wellness, of full-beings, body, mind, and soul if we don’t preach by our own actions, not our empty words.

Lesson learned, new day, new possibilities. Thankful for another chance to grow and follow.

Praise the Father his patience is so much greater than mine. His mercy, my only hope!

Todays goal: Do the best I can with Thanksgiving, fully covered by hope in the Lord. What more can I do? I really don’t want to be a hypocrite.

It’s a “Jesus Take The Wheel” kinda day!

So very thankful for the plow man today!

Beautiful, warm, but a better day to stay home by the fire.

Somedays the choice is not ours, when we are in service to others.

What did you say? Did you really just say that?

Think on the path you choose to take!

Have you ever stopped and considered what you are telling yourself? Have you heard the digs, the negativity that you feed on daily. “I can’t…” “I am not good enough…” “It will never…”

When will you start taking captive the cruel words you speak over your life? When will you claim the power to transform your life? When will you start telling yourself the way it really is?

This morning I was listening to a John Piper sermon (part of the current course I am studying) it was on the subject of spiritual depression but I feel it has much farther reach then just our soul.

This quote from Lloyd-Jones resounded with my heart. Note(I quoted the entirety of the section of the sermon to show the context but believe in the application to all areas of life. Health, finance, jobs, relationships, etc)

‘ “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Oh how crucial this is in the fight of faith. We must learn to preach the truth to ourselves. Listen to Lloyd-Jones take hold of this verse:

Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them but they are talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment [in Psalm 42] was this: instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: “Self, listen for moment, I will speak to you.” (Spiritual Depression, 20–21)

On this side of the cross, we know the greatest ground for our hope: Jesus Christ crucified for our sins and triumphant over death. So the main thing we must learn is to preach the gospel to ourselves:

Listen, self: If God is for you, who can be against you? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for you, how will he not also with him graciously give you all things? Who shall bring any charge against you as God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died — more than that, who was raised — who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for you. Who shall separate you from the love of Christ? (Romans 8:31–35 paraphrased)

Learn to preach the gospel to yourself. If this psalmist were living after Christ, that is what he would have done.’

https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/spiritual-depression-in-the-psalms

Try it today. STOP LISTENING to the random negative banter of your mind, SET YOURSELF STRAIGHT. “Self you can do whatever you set your mind to GET UP & TRY” ” Self you only think you are tired but if you FINISH you will feel so much better you will BE GLAD you did.” “Self things are sad, and bad, and hard, but you are surrounded by a great spirit of LOVE and although you do not understand you will TRUST.” “Self THAT CHOICE is not healthy and good only temporary and will leave you disappointed in your self.” “Self a treat is ok, ENJOY it, but make sure it is only a treat not a LIFE CHOICE.”

“Be quite self, today is going to be good, and productive, and full of life!

2023 My eyes shall seek Your glory!

This is what the Lord said, He who made a path through the sea, through the mighty waters. “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth. Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. The beasts of the field will glorify Me, because I supply their needs as I supply Your needs, My people will declare My praise.

Based on Isaiah 43:16,18-21 NASB

Introducing My Fitness Partner

Finnigan H Fancypants

When setting fitness goals, it is always more fun and motivating with a friend.

This is my partner. 7.5 months old Coonhound/Sheppard mix.

Although it is nice to spend time with my young friend, it is not necessarily the dream dog relationship I had in mind.

Finnigan has anxiety. He panics at new things, new people, and other dogs

My dreams of a hiking partner that I could throw in the car and take anywhere. Nope, not Fin. Fin takes thought, planning, patience, and hard work.

Finnigan is a very good boy he knows his obedience commands, but going through the “teenage stage” doesn’t always do them.

We are working closely with a veterinarian behaviorist to show him the world is not such a scary place.

Life is full of moments and things that you have to meet where they are, not where you wish them to be.

Will Finnigan ever be “my dream dog”? Maybe, maybe not. Finnigan is real. He is not a dream.

Meeting my young pup where he is still gets me out to exercise. The advantage is exercising with Fin not only trains my body but my mind, patience, and reflexes as well.

Ending 2022 Well

This year’s end, next year’s life!

Just over one month left of 2022. I don’t want to wish it away, instead I want to work it. What can I accomplish with God’s help in just six weeks?

The areas of most concern to me are (in no particular order) health/wellness, conquering the c.h.a.o.s. in my home, and increasing income through sales of gift boxes before Christmas.

I could jump on to the hustle and bustle of Christmas train, but I don’t want to. I want long term gain as apposed to short term satisfaction.

How about you, how would you like to end your year?

The Dawn Comes After The Darkness?

The dawn comes after the darkness?

Funny how I thought the sorrow would only be for a little while.

A long life, well lived. Age had caught up to her. Time had stolen away so many things. Bodies wear out.

The love of her life had passed away a few years before and although we knew we had a huge place in her heart, I can only imagine the lonely, silent nights, she laid in her bed longing for the warmth of him snuggling against her.

We couldn’t wish her back to this time and this place. But I do!

In quiet unexpected moments as I go about my day, doing ordinary tasks, it sneaks up, pounces, takes my breath away. The loneliness, the broken piece missing from my heart jabs in stabbing, cutting,hurting all over again.

Do they see the tear steal down my cheek? Wonder at the shadow that passes behind my eyes?

The dawn comes after the darkness, this is the truth, but when will the darkness pass? When the jagged edge of loss wear off and the pain fade away?

Who Are You?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized yourself?

With the exception of the time I bleached and chopped off my hair, it is not really a surface thing.

Yes the post covid greying of the hair, the extra pounds, a deeper wrinkle here and there not always what I want to see. What about you? What if we look deeper, to the inside?

Periods of life that seem to shake who you thought you were, what happens then, when you look in the mirror and wonder “Who Are You?”

Letting go of the summer that wasn’t

Pathways

This summer has to have been the worst summer of my entire life. Spent most of it oscillating from a numb stupor to a poorly contained raging anger.

Filled my days with mind emptying “TV series ” on Prime, with little bursts of attempts to catch up, clean up, get up.

Happiest memory a trip with my husband and son where we broke down twice in about 25 kms, spending probably between 3 to 4 hours waiting for tow trucks on the side of the road. Some how it was fun!

The last few hours of summer 2022. I feel a sense of guilt for wishing it away, hoping somehow fall will usher in some sort of change, and not just dreary rainy days.

The Sky Is Still Blue

Calm beauty

Loss, sorrow, disappointment, numbness, drowning in grief, not fighting in the waves but under the sea, running around, getting no where, clutter and messes undone/ undealt with everywhere, what’s up, what’s down, what even do you feel.

Pulled up from the depth by a pause and a friend, splashing in water, shoes full of sand, the heat of the earth radiating up on the back watching clouds floating and changing, trees waving to and fro, children laughing, sun blinding bright, July humid heat.

Moment, thought, sight, clarity, feeling.

The sky is still blue and it is beautiful!