Ending 2022 Well

This year’s end, next year’s life!

Just over one month left of 2022. I don’t want to wish it away, instead I want to work it. What can I accomplish with God’s help in just six weeks?

The areas of most concern to me are (in no particular order) health/wellness, conquering the c.h.a.o.s. in my home, and increasing income through sales of gift boxes before Christmas.

I could jump on to the hustle and bustle of Christmas train, but I don’t want to. I want long term gain as apposed to short term satisfaction.

How about you, how would you like to end your year?

The Dawn Comes After The Darkness?

The dawn comes after the darkness?

Funny how I thought the sorrow would only be for a little while.

A long life, well lived. Age had caught up to her. Time had stolen away so many things. Bodies wear out.

The love of her life had passed away a few years before and although we knew we had a huge place in her heart, I can only imagine the lonely, silent nights, she laid in her bed longing for the warmth of him snuggling against her.

We couldn’t wish her back to this time and this place. But I do!

In quiet unexpected moments as I go about my day, doing ordinary tasks, it sneaks up, pounces, takes my breath away. The loneliness, the broken piece missing from my heart jabs in stabbing, cutting,hurting all over again.

Do they see the tear steal down my cheek? Wonder at the shadow that passes behind my eyes?

The dawn comes after the darkness, this is the truth, but when will the darkness pass? When the jagged edge of loss wear off and the pain fade away?

Who Are You?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized yourself?

With the exception of the time I bleached and chopped off my hair, it is not really a surface thing.

Yes the post covid greying of the hair, the extra pounds, a deeper wrinkle here and there not always what I want to see. What about you? What if we look deeper, to the inside?

Periods of life that seem to shake who you thought you were, what happens then, when you look in the mirror and wonder “Who Are You?”

The Sky Is Still Blue

Calm beauty

Loss, sorrow, disappointment, numbness, drowning in grief, not fighting in the waves but under the sea, running around, getting no where, clutter and messes undone/ undealt with everywhere, what’s up, what’s down, what even do you feel.

Pulled up from the depth by a pause and a friend, splashing in water, shoes full of sand, the heat of the earth radiating up on the back watching clouds floating and changing, trees waving to and fro, children laughing, sun blinding bright, July humid heat.

Moment, thought, sight, clarity, feeling.

The sky is still blue and it is beautiful!

Embracing a healthy lifestyle: letting go of the “diet mentality”

Big boy! (Or girl) Garden friend.

I was disappointed with myself at the end of the day yesterday. I had reinstalled another “step counter” on my phone to track my activity and I was no-where close to my goal of steps taken when I went to bed. Crazy thing was my body was screaming at me. Why?

I started cleaning up my gardens yesterday and my two hours I had alloted before I chained myself to my desk for a few hours, turned into five hours of joyous work in the sunshine. Doing hundreds of squats, digging, pulling and activating muscles that have laid dormant since last year.

I worked HARD, so why was I so disappointed about a stupid number on my phone?

The conversation my mind was having with my soul, was not very nice! Instead of saying good job today, it was talking down telling me, “I would never reveal the skinny (healthy)person inside that is disguised in an excess layer of fluff(fat).”

The problem with a mindset of diet is it is equal to scarcity and want vs a mindset of health and well-being which is a mindset of delicious fresh abundance and ability.

Ironically like many other lessons in my life, the most impactful person to give me this lesson about diet vs lifestyle, was my daughter Stephanie. One day I was talking about preparing lunch and said the word “diet”. She spoke up and said,”no mom, not a diet, it’s your lifestyle now.”

A lifestyle is about daily sustained choices for the long-run, as apposed to a short term denial for “quick, unlasting results”.

A lifestyle is about making choices and taking action on a daily bases to bring self closer to your own type of beautiful and joy.

Maybe I should have slipped away yesterday for a power walk, to boost some calorie burning. That would only have worked on one area of my lifestyle dream.

I chose instead, muscle building, weight-lifting, beautifying, garden building, weeding: with the hope that someday soon, my body will be fit AND my gardens will be beautiful. Not to mention the fresh, healthy, local abundance of home-grown food. Payoff for this lifestyle choice!

Where in your life do you need to make a mental shift from lack (diet) to abundance (lifestyle)? What can you do today to level-up the impact of your actions?

AWAKEN, ARISE, YOU ARE ALIVE!

Look right in front of you, what do you see?

Morning has come again, night is over.

What will you do with this day, this here, this now?

Days have passed on, one after another, gone like the wind.

Stalled, low, waisted.

Mourning!

But “I” am alive. “I” am here. “I” can rise.

There is still beauty when the darkness like blinders is removed from one’s eyes.

Today I am alive! Cleanse off the mourning. Breath deeply to the core. Allow ‘heart’ to beat again, feel deeply the rhythm of the song of life.

Be kind, and live.

TIME CHANGE & SLEEP MERIDIAN!

annual morning panic

Here we are again, in Ontario Canada and under the effects of the annual daylight-savings-time-change-fiasco! I am NOT a happy camper! Do “they” not realize there is “something to” getting up and going to bed at a constant time, especially if you practice it, which I dream of doing, and sometimes am successful at accomplishing! Here we are again the rush hour morning, I chug my coffee, jump through the shower, slap on my makeup, and PANIC because Tim has already reset the clock on the wall and I didn’tsee him do it! Yes today is “the annual morning panic day”! Happy daylight savings time to you!

Magic of March

I may have said it before but I don’t like to wish my life away. With the risk of sounding like I am, I am glad February over. February seemed unusually hard this year. Maybe it was the cold that had me huddled hiding in my home. Or maybe it was just a season of spiritual stretching and growth. It felt like death and mourning too many days. So glad to lay February to rest.

Here we are at March now. March the month to dream of warming days. Spring melt. Garden plans. Walks to come. Playing in puddles and mud. (Hopeful. Canada in March could just be more winter.)

Dreams of setting up my outside prayer spot. Surrounded by blooms and food.

Dreams of hikes in the park, camping and fishing. Picking dates for a big excursion.

Time to launch my dream journal. A colourful book to set goals, make plans, reflect, create. (My current journal is almost full.) I need a place of encouragement for myself. (Been beating myself up a bit too much lately.) My creativity needs a place to pour out.

March a month of gardening videos and vlogs. Books and lessons. Renewed interest in learning composting and canning, pest control, and supplementing. Pruning and building.

The magic of March, to me, a month of dreams, of plans, of hope. And the weather begins to warm, the days are noticeably longer. Back into the light. March

Back on track

Confusion, chaos, darkness, fear spiral around like monsters. They cry, “Look at me! Look at me!”

When the distraction doesn’t work, their claws grip into the chest, trying to steal the Life Breath.

Held down, distracted, lungs squeezed, body wracked with pain and disbelief. Hopelessness grabs towards the truth and light. It tries to snuff out glory with lies.

Set back, retreat, hide, curl up, wait to die.

Darkness cannot hide from light. The light pushes back the darkness through the night. It guards protects, provides needed rest. Light bides it’s time and sooths, caress.

He waited for the cry to come. To speak truth. Lift up. Tell me to carry on.

One foot He placed back on the path. Said rise child, trust, listen for My will.

Stand reborn on trembling legs, I will guard and wait for strength to gain.

Today just stand upon the path, absorb the light, the warmth, the mercy, the grace.

Just be still and wait.

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1 Kings 19