Victory on Sunday, Failure by Tuesday

Whatever is true, honorable, right and pure…think…

How the mighty-in-thought fall? How to be a hypocrite in 5 easy steps? The possibility for the titles I could put to these thoughts seems endless and somewhat amusing in a “head lowering, shame filled” way. Let me start at the beginning…

Sunday morning, I got up on fire for God. I felt filled with joy. I could not wait to worship. I invited all my family to come with me. Unfortunately, none did, but hey, I asked. On the way to worship, I tuned my van radio into the Christian radio station, hoping for some rocking out praise music, a sermon by Dr Charles Stanley on not selling our birth right for a bowl of soup was what I heard instead.

Service was filled with wonderful surprises. A guest speaker no one, not even Pastor knew was coming. Our worship leader was allowing the Holy Spirit to pour through her, and she was raising brand new songs spontaneously to the Lord. Then, after service, a spontaneous fellowship complete with lunch.

Having had no warning about our guests, I suggested ordering pizza. Agreed and done. There was no gluten-free. Luckily for me, I was prepared! I was not going to “sell my birthright” of a healthy body just for a slice of deep and delicious, yummy smelling pizza. After explaining that “no, I was not fasting”. I enjoyed and was amazed by the time in fellowship.

Well, time has a way of passing by without me noticing, so late in the afternoon, I went off to gather my daughter from work and then came home. Noticing the time I figured, I made it this far today, maybe I should finish the day out fasting.

I went to bed and woke up feeling rejuvenated. (Even though my sleep was not great, the fellowship buzzing around in my mind.)Wow, what an amazing start to the week. Really flying well now!

Tuesday!

Another great start to the day, lots done, and ate healthy in the morning. Afternoon comes…switch into my “mom’s taxi hat”. Drove Fred, check. Brought Fred home, check. NO TIME TO THINK, BREATH, EAT! Next kid loaded, kid a little ungrateful because Mom is running late. Mom’s h-anger kicks into overdrive. SNAP!CRACKLE!POP! and we aren’t talking no rice crispies!!

Dropped the kid off, ran errands for said kid. Ran through the store driven by unreasonable hunger! So much for self-control, birthright, patience! I did read the labels…well sort of. Hurry, hurry, hurry!

No wheat, haa relief, not starving, oh wait what does that label really say?

Hung my head in shame, apologized to everyone I snapped at, and today Friday feeling the wrath of my impatience in all of my joints and intestines.

Lessons taken…to stay healthy, happy, wise, plan ahead girl! I knew I had taxi-duty, I heard the still small voice say, “Take an apple with you.” Seriously, how much simpler can it get!

How easy it is for us mere humans to get off track when we get busy and don’t take the time to take care of ourselves. How can we be a shining example of health and wellness, of full-beings, body, mind, and soul if we don’t preach by our own actions, not our empty words.

Lesson learned, new day, new possibilities. Thankful for another chance to grow and follow.

Praise the Father his patience is so much greater than mine. His mercy, my only hope!

Todays goal: Do the best I can with Thanksgiving, fully covered by hope in the Lord. What more can I do? I really don’t want to be a hypocrite.

2023 My eyes shall seek Your glory!

This is what the Lord said, He who made a path through the sea, through the mighty waters. “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth. Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. The beasts of the field will glorify Me, because I supply their needs as I supply Your needs, My people will declare My praise.

Based on Isaiah 43:16,18-21 NASB

Ending 2022 Well

This year’s end, next year’s life!

Just over one month left of 2022. I don’t want to wish it away, instead I want to work it. What can I accomplish with God’s help in just six weeks?

The areas of most concern to me are (in no particular order) health/wellness, conquering the c.h.a.o.s. in my home, and increasing income through sales of gift boxes before Christmas.

I could jump on to the hustle and bustle of Christmas train, but I don’t want to. I want long term gain as apposed to short term satisfaction.

How about you, how would you like to end your year?

The Dawn Comes After The Darkness?

The dawn comes after the darkness?

Funny how I thought the sorrow would only be for a little while.

A long life, well lived. Age had caught up to her. Time had stolen away so many things. Bodies wear out.

The love of her life had passed away a few years before and although we knew we had a huge place in her heart, I can only imagine the lonely, silent nights, she laid in her bed longing for the warmth of him snuggling against her.

We couldn’t wish her back to this time and this place. But I do!

In quiet unexpected moments as I go about my day, doing ordinary tasks, it sneaks up, pounces, takes my breath away. The loneliness, the broken piece missing from my heart jabs in stabbing, cutting,hurting all over again.

Do they see the tear steal down my cheek? Wonder at the shadow that passes behind my eyes?

The dawn comes after the darkness, this is the truth, but when will the darkness pass? When the jagged edge of loss wear off and the pain fade away?

Who Are You?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized yourself?

With the exception of the time I bleached and chopped off my hair, it is not really a surface thing.

Yes the post covid greying of the hair, the extra pounds, a deeper wrinkle here and there not always what I want to see. What about you? What if we look deeper, to the inside?

Periods of life that seem to shake who you thought you were, what happens then, when you look in the mirror and wonder “Who Are You?”

The Sky Is Still Blue

Calm beauty

Loss, sorrow, disappointment, numbness, drowning in grief, not fighting in the waves but under the sea, running around, getting no where, clutter and messes undone/ undealt with everywhere, what’s up, what’s down, what even do you feel.

Pulled up from the depth by a pause and a friend, splashing in water, shoes full of sand, the heat of the earth radiating up on the back watching clouds floating and changing, trees waving to and fro, children laughing, sun blinding bright, July humid heat.

Moment, thought, sight, clarity, feeling.

The sky is still blue and it is beautiful!

Embracing a healthy lifestyle: letting go of the “diet mentality”

Big boy! (Or girl) Garden friend.

I was disappointed with myself at the end of the day yesterday. I had reinstalled another “step counter” on my phone to track my activity and I was no-where close to my goal of steps taken when I went to bed. Crazy thing was my body was screaming at me. Why?

I started cleaning up my gardens yesterday and my two hours I had alloted before I chained myself to my desk for a few hours, turned into five hours of joyous work in the sunshine. Doing hundreds of squats, digging, pulling and activating muscles that have laid dormant since last year.

I worked HARD, so why was I so disappointed about a stupid number on my phone?

The conversation my mind was having with my soul, was not very nice! Instead of saying good job today, it was talking down telling me, “I would never reveal the skinny (healthy)person inside that is disguised in an excess layer of fluff(fat).”

The problem with a mindset of diet is it is equal to scarcity and want vs a mindset of health and well-being which is a mindset of delicious fresh abundance and ability.

Ironically like many other lessons in my life, the most impactful person to give me this lesson about diet vs lifestyle, was my daughter Stephanie. One day I was talking about preparing lunch and said the word “diet”. She spoke up and said,”no mom, not a diet, it’s your lifestyle now.”

A lifestyle is about daily sustained choices for the long-run, as apposed to a short term denial for “quick, unlasting results”.

A lifestyle is about making choices and taking action on a daily bases to bring self closer to your own type of beautiful and joy.

Maybe I should have slipped away yesterday for a power walk, to boost some calorie burning. That would only have worked on one area of my lifestyle dream.

I chose instead, muscle building, weight-lifting, beautifying, garden building, weeding: with the hope that someday soon, my body will be fit AND my gardens will be beautiful. Not to mention the fresh, healthy, local abundance of home-grown food. Payoff for this lifestyle choice!

Where in your life do you need to make a mental shift from lack (diet) to abundance (lifestyle)? What can you do today to level-up the impact of your actions?

AWAKEN, ARISE, YOU ARE ALIVE!

Look right in front of you, what do you see?

Morning has come again, night is over.

What will you do with this day, this here, this now?

Days have passed on, one after another, gone like the wind.

Stalled, low, waisted.

Mourning!

But “I” am alive. “I” am here. “I” can rise.

There is still beauty when the darkness like blinders is removed from one’s eyes.

Today I am alive! Cleanse off the mourning. Breath deeply to the core. Allow ‘heart’ to beat again, feel deeply the rhythm of the song of life.

Be kind, and live.

TIME CHANGE & SLEEP MERIDIAN!

annual morning panic

Here we are again, in Ontario Canada and under the effects of the annual daylight-savings-time-change-fiasco! I am NOT a happy camper! Do “they” not realize there is “something to” getting up and going to bed at a constant time, especially if you practice it, which I dream of doing, and sometimes am successful at accomplishing! Here we are again the rush hour morning, I chug my coffee, jump through the shower, slap on my makeup, and PANIC because Tim has already reset the clock on the wall and I didn’tsee him do it! Yes today is “the annual morning panic day”! Happy daylight savings time to you!

Magic of March

I may have said it before but I don’t like to wish my life away. With the risk of sounding like I am, I am glad February over. February seemed unusually hard this year. Maybe it was the cold that had me huddled hiding in my home. Or maybe it was just a season of spiritual stretching and growth. It felt like death and mourning too many days. So glad to lay February to rest.

Here we are at March now. March the month to dream of warming days. Spring melt. Garden plans. Walks to come. Playing in puddles and mud. (Hopeful. Canada in March could just be more winter.)

Dreams of setting up my outside prayer spot. Surrounded by blooms and food.

Dreams of hikes in the park, camping and fishing. Picking dates for a big excursion.

Time to launch my dream journal. A colourful book to set goals, make plans, reflect, create. (My current journal is almost full.) I need a place of encouragement for myself. (Been beating myself up a bit too much lately.) My creativity needs a place to pour out.

March a month of gardening videos and vlogs. Books and lessons. Renewed interest in learning composting and canning, pest control, and supplementing. Pruning and building.

The magic of March, to me, a month of dreams, of plans, of hope. And the weather begins to warm, the days are noticeably longer. Back into the light. March