A journey of discovery to reclaim the life God designed for you and me…
Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized yourself?
With the exception of the time I bleached and chopped off my hair, it is not really a surface thing.
Yes the post covid greying of the hair, the extra pounds, a deeper wrinkle here and there not always what I want to see. What about you? What if we look deeper, to the inside?
Periods of life that seem to shake who you thought you were, what happens then, when you look in the mirror and wonder “Who Are You?”
Life and death
A dance together
Painful reminder of the twinkling of time
Felt like forever
Quickly rushing into can’t slow it down
Childhood~Adolescents ~Parenthood ~Change~Growth~They leave home~Death
Thought today would not come, then it’s gone
Gone like a vapor
Held hand slips away
No more time for someday soon
Gone to eternity
Beauty in the transformation
Silence in the shadow left behind
Confusion, chaos, darkness, fear spiral around like monsters. They cry, “Look at me! Look at me!”
When the distraction doesn’t work, their claws grip into the chest, trying to steal the Life Breath.
Held down, distracted, lungs squeezed, body wracked with pain and disbelief. Hopelessness grabs towards the truth and light. It tries to snuff out glory with lies.
Set back, retreat, hide, curl up, wait to die.
Darkness cannot hide from light. The light pushes back the darkness through the night. It guards protects, provides needed rest. Light bides it’s time and sooths, caress.
He waited for the cry to come. To speak truth. Lift up. Tell me to carry on.
One foot He placed back on the path. Said rise child, trust, listen for My will.
Stand reborn on trembling legs, I will guard and wait for strength to gain.
Today just stand upon the path, absorb the light, the warmth, the mercy, the grace.
Just be still and wait.
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1 Kings 19
Questions flood through my head.
Nothing that was seems to be anymore.
Was it ALL an illusion?
What happened to truth and honor?
Where did my peace go?
Let not your heart be troubled.
But it is troubled.
Another lie will not change anything.
Communication.
Kindness. Love. Peace.
Truth lies in the middle usually.
Guns, intimidation? Why?
Not here, not where I live?
It can not be true!
Stop the noise for a moment.
Listen to the silence.
What does the still small voice say?
Can you still hear it?
Listen, listen closely it is still there!
I looked out the window, the trees were covered with a thick layer of story book snow.
It was clean and fresh and beautiful. A day that one could sit with a hot cup of tea and daydream story after story looking out at the fluffy marshmallow looking trees.
Warmed by the fire, watching the chick-a-dees flit from tree to tree, grabbing a seed just to fly back and peck it open, over and over again.
When the front door opened the blue jays took flight on mass startled from the feeder. The cold rushed in jarring me from my dreams and moments of pleasure.
I look out my window and see glittering diamonds, sparkling back at me from the sunshine and snow.
My favourite herb garden laying asleep under a blanket of snow. Lying in wait for warm temperatures to grow.
And I dream and I plan with giddy delight, of flowers, and flavors, of spicy delights.
I long for the days of sunshine, and heat, and feeling the dirt squish under my feet.
My first orders of seeds await on my desk. Pencil and paper and calendar, to plan for the very best.
Maybe this year will be the one I see in my head. Not a weed in the garden, packed full of beauty and bounty instead.
But back to reality on this cold winter day, it is fun to let my imagination out to play.
I walk in a stupor, surrounded the past two years by a grey wash.
I fight and fight to push back the grey to allow the Son to fully illuminate the colours of life.
Tired of the fog that fights for my soul, the darkness that rushes in.
The speed it tries to goad out of me.
Faster and faster, heavier loads, stuff, clutter, responsibility.
What would it all mean, if it were to end tomorrow. If time here were to stop.
I want to see the full colour of life.
I want to see the world around illuminated and basking in the light.
I want to sit in quiet wonder, with no where pressing to go, nothing needing to be done.
Light where are you? When will the grey be pushed away, and the new colour full world take shape before my eyes.
Stepping through the grey. Today is a new day. Come full colour, come.
Fall comes and with it grey rainy days.
We sit and wait for the light of the sun, the internal warmth and awakening.
Suddenly a moment of bright blessings. Bright light illuminates the world around us.
The heart stirs and a smile reaches the lips and the eyes.
Promises of spring and life renewed.
I want to write a book, publish a story, place interesting, thought provoking content on my blog.
As a thought, it’s okay, pretty easy and everything is calm. BUT…
One line, one chapter, one attempt and it wakes the demons from their slumber. “Your not good enough!” “Who would be interested in that?” “Can’t you see the world falling apart around you?” ” In the big picture, your words, your thoughts, who cares!”
Sometimes it’s a careless comment, or an attitude that crushes the soul a little more, time after time. Silencing the muse, because if the closest people don’t care…
Then the Voice comes, “what if it’s not for them? Go ahead write it anyway. The dance of your soul is the delight. Just go ahead and write!”
Today I fought the demons off! Today I chose to write.
Hustle, bustle, hurrying along.
What to do first?
Then you came along.
Everything stopped!
Then you fluttered along.
Beautiful Remade 