Ending 2022 Well

This year’s end, next year’s life!

Just over one month left of 2022. I don’t want to wish it away, instead I want to work it. What can I accomplish with God’s help in just six weeks?

The areas of most concern to me are (in no particular order) health/wellness, conquering the c.h.a.o.s. in my home, and increasing income through sales of gift boxes before Christmas.

I could jump on to the hustle and bustle of Christmas train, but I don’t want to. I want long term gain as apposed to short term satisfaction.

How about you, how would you like to end your year?

The Dawn Comes After The Darkness?

The dawn comes after the darkness?

Funny how I thought the sorrow would only be for a little while.

A long life, well lived. Age had caught up to her. Time had stolen away so many things. Bodies wear out.

The love of her life had passed away a few years before and although we knew we had a huge place in her heart, I can only imagine the lonely, silent nights, she laid in her bed longing for the warmth of him snuggling against her.

We couldn’t wish her back to this time and this place. But I do!

In quiet unexpected moments as I go about my day, doing ordinary tasks, it sneaks up, pounces, takes my breath away. The loneliness, the broken piece missing from my heart jabs in stabbing, cutting,hurting all over again.

Do they see the tear steal down my cheek? Wonder at the shadow that passes behind my eyes?

The dawn comes after the darkness, this is the truth, but when will the darkness pass? When the jagged edge of loss wear off and the pain fade away?

Who Are You?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized yourself?

With the exception of the time I bleached and chopped off my hair, it is not really a surface thing.

Yes the post covid greying of the hair, the extra pounds, a deeper wrinkle here and there not always what I want to see. What about you? What if we look deeper, to the inside?

Periods of life that seem to shake who you thought you were, what happens then, when you look in the mirror and wonder “Who Are You?”

The Sky Is Still Blue

Calm beauty

Loss, sorrow, disappointment, numbness, drowning in grief, not fighting in the waves but under the sea, running around, getting no where, clutter and messes undone/ undealt with everywhere, what’s up, what’s down, what even do you feel.

Pulled up from the depth by a pause and a friend, splashing in water, shoes full of sand, the heat of the earth radiating up on the back watching clouds floating and changing, trees waving to and fro, children laughing, sun blinding bright, July humid heat.

Moment, thought, sight, clarity, feeling.

The sky is still blue and it is beautiful!

Magical dancing light

Just about 630pm on a warm spring evening in June. It has been a pretty good day so far, although the peaceful joy did not quite reach into my unrestful soul. I had arrived home from a friend’s house and debated on my self-soothing options. Finally I climbed out of the van and strolled through the garden noticing new life appearing from the earth.

Not really much to show yet, but exciting none the less as I await the day to eat the first meal of fresh tender green beans, or snack on sweet peas right out of the pod in the garden.

The colours of my flowers gave me a little splash of joy.

I walked into the house and faced another choice: do nothing, clean up, or go for a walk which would certainly help on my path to “feeling better ” again.

The first steps are always the hardest but I changed my clothes, tide up my sneakers, grabbed a water bottle and off I went.

Quiet except for the nature sounds. The lowering sun danced through the trees creating a magical stage of spotlit points and shadows, illuminating new shades of green in the fresh undergrowth. I felt like I had stepped into another deminsion and that fairies should be fluttering around through the trees,but only a yellow butterfly danced about, pretty and graceful.

I wished I could capture the beauty of the scene, but between the limit of the camera and the reality of the swarms of mosquitoes that drove me home, the spectacular scene will remain mainly in my memory the fodder of magical dreams when I lay down my head.

AWAKEN, ARISE, YOU ARE ALIVE!

Look right in front of you, what do you see?

Morning has come again, night is over.

What will you do with this day, this here, this now?

Days have passed on, one after another, gone like the wind.

Stalled, low, waisted.

Mourning!

But “I” am alive. “I” am here. “I” can rise.

There is still beauty when the darkness like blinders is removed from one’s eyes.

Today I am alive! Cleanse off the mourning. Breath deeply to the core. Allow ‘heart’ to beat again, feel deeply the rhythm of the song of life.

Be kind, and live.

I Am Willing…or am I?

The pleasure of learning

Morning pages and morning affirmations are part of my journey this year, as I work through this creative devotion book.

This morning I was struck, almost dumb founded as I wrote!

I had reread Julia’s affirmations and basic principles as usual, and I started to write out my affirmations for my day, and life.

Like every other morning this week. I looked forward to writing the “I am willing…” statements. I was looking forward to the “feel good” moment that these statements bring. All of a sudden it changed!

I started with “I am willing…” Then I was stuck repeating “I am willing…I am willing.” Nothing more.

The writing voice changed! It was not threatening or condescending but firm and pointed!

“What are you willing to do?”

“Are you willing to let God use you to bless your own health, so you have energy to bless your family, so they are able to pour blessings out on others without distraction. “

“Are you willing, to seek the perfect shot of God’s creation, even though you have to go out into winter to do it? Are you willing to attempt that new art medium you have been dreaming of….to create beautiful meals….or transform your house and yard into the gorgeous artsy home you have been dreaming of? Are you willing to look at the photo of your life right now today and say ‘I am blessed’?

Am I truly willing, or am I begrudgingly going through this life, half-way doing what “needs” to be done, like a child “forced” to do their chores and homework?

How about you? Are you willing?

Pink bubbly wine and colour full family!

Happiness is having people you love!

Happy new year everyone! 2022 is here, and my theme this year is “Colour Fully Alive”!

I am on a mission to see and experience as much colour as I can.

I want to smell, touch, taste, listen and observe colour.

I want to feel colour! I want to discover new colour. I want to absorb colour into my soul and radiate colour.

And I don’t want to be just one colour, I want to be and experience all the brightest, happiest, peaceful colours.

How do you experience colour?

Well I asked my friend to pick up some sparkly wine for to bring in the new year. She chose a pink wine, “because it made me happy”, she said.

My cousin created this colourful delight to feast our eyes and taste buds on.

Mouthwatering beautiful

What about this great red lipstick? It brings my face alive!

I want to live Fully-Coulourfully-Alive this day January 1 2022, because there will never be another day like it.

What colours do you find makes you feel colour-fully-alive? And for curiosity sake why?