Magic of March

I may have said it before but I don’t like to wish my life away. With the risk of sounding like I am, I am glad February over. February seemed unusually hard this year. Maybe it was the cold that had me huddled hiding in my home. Or maybe it was just a season of spiritual stretching and growth. It felt like death and mourning too many days. So glad to lay February to rest.

Here we are at March now. March the month to dream of warming days. Spring melt. Garden plans. Walks to come. Playing in puddles and mud. (Hopeful. Canada in March could just be more winter.)

Dreams of setting up my outside prayer spot. Surrounded by blooms and food.

Dreams of hikes in the park, camping and fishing. Picking dates for a big excursion.

Time to launch my dream journal. A colourful book to set goals, make plans, reflect, create. (My current journal is almost full.) I need a place of encouragement for myself. (Been beating myself up a bit too much lately.) My creativity needs a place to pour out.

March a month of gardening videos and vlogs. Books and lessons. Renewed interest in learning composting and canning, pest control, and supplementing. Pruning and building.

The magic of March, to me, a month of dreams, of plans, of hope. And the weather begins to warm, the days are noticeably longer. Back into the light. March

Seeking Solace

Last week was an unusually stress filled week. I was dealing with negative things I could not control. It was so negative, I actually went to the dentist just to relax!

I am usually a glass half full/overflowing type of person. I can distract myself with blessings and gratitude.

Last week I tried, I faked it, I reached for crutches, but really my insides just churned, and my body rebelled.

Saturday I was engaged with my daughter and her disc dog. That was fun. A bit of distraction.

Two 2nd place wins, happy girls

Sunday the family headed for “my happy place”, Algonquin Park. Usually I can sit and reflect, and feel the love of God through the beauty of creation wash over me.

This week surrounded by nature I struggled to find that peace. In fact I was grasped by such depression as I haven’t felt in a long time. Hopelessness in fact!

How can one feel so negative when witnessing such stunning scenes?

My journal didn’t help. Despair came over me. It held me in it’s claws!

I know in my heart, “be anxious for nothing, give it to God in prayer, with thanksgiving.” Sometimes it’s really difficult to do. Even when your faith is strong, your circumstances on this earth can be trying.

The moment that finally broke through my misery was when God gave me a fish. The fight, the surge of adrenaline, the success. Wasn’t a huge fish, but it was a fun fish. My smile in that moment became genuine.

Kickin’ bass!

For awhile it felt good to be alive. The trouble disappeared from my mind, and I found myself firmly planted in the moment.

As we packed up to come home, we all agreed what a great day it had been. No one knew of my struggle.

Exhaustion set in, it was hard to stay awake on the trip back. Something I try to do, to watch out for the eyes of animals along or on the road. The moon guided our path.

I fell into bed, crashed for the night.

I woke up thankful for a bass, that for a while, brought my heart and soul back to the present moment and gave a little burst of joy, a moment of solace.