I Am Willing…or am I?

The pleasure of learning

Morning pages and morning affirmations are part of my journey this year, as I work through this creative devotion book.

This morning I was struck, almost dumb founded as I wrote!

I had reread Julia’s affirmations and basic principles as usual, and I started to write out my affirmations for my day, and life.

Like every other morning this week. I looked forward to writing the “I am willing…” statements. I was looking forward to the “feel good” moment that these statements bring. All of a sudden it changed!

I started with “I am willing…” Then I was stuck repeating “I am willing…I am willing.” Nothing more.

The writing voice changed! It was not threatening or condescending but firm and pointed!

“What are you willing to do?”

“Are you willing to let God use you to bless your own health, so you have energy to bless your family, so they are able to pour blessings out on others without distraction. “

“Are you willing, to seek the perfect shot of God’s creation, even though you have to go out into winter to do it? Are you willing to attempt that new art medium you have been dreaming of….to create beautiful meals….or transform your house and yard into the gorgeous artsy home you have been dreaming of? Are you willing to look at the photo of your life right now today and say ‘I am blessed’?

Am I truly willing, or am I begrudgingly going through this life, half-way doing what “needs” to be done, like a child “forced” to do their chores and homework?

How about you? Are you willing?

Seeking Authenticity

Which path, do they both lead to the same ending?

I have an anxious feeling in my soul today and I can’t explain why.

I feel like something is going to happen. I am uncomfortable.

Is it from a recent discussion? In my studies, and discussions I have been bombarded by a thought so foreign to me I can’t grasp it. I feel like it’s a rabbit hole.

Is it just a moment of stretching and growth?

Maybe it’s too much coffee, not enough sleep, the weather???

Whatever it is, I choose not too live in this state!

I know that God is good, and His love lasts forever. I know He cares for us even in our weakened state. So as uncomfortable as this moment is, I choose to face today with love, patience, kindness, goodness, and hopefully a bit of self control.

Who knows maybe this anxiety will lead to something new and authentically great! After all, I am seeking the “real thing”!