Breathe In Peace, Breathe Out Frustration, Clutter Out,Peace In

A dear friend of mine gave me a couple of shelving units because she was moving and had no where to use them. Unfortunately because of appointments and such they spent a few days cluttering up the middle of my kitchen. Creating mobility havoc in our home, and a very miserable husband.

With determination I worked out where the final resting place should be for these blessings, and set about “spring cleaning” the areas that I wanted them in.

I could not believe how perfectly they fit, like the hand of God had made the space. You have to understand I am slightly spatially challenged from time to time.

It was a long day getting things organized. I was able to unpack 5 boxes that had been cluttering up my home, and get my prized cookbooks out on a display. My cleaning and paper products now have a home that doesn’t tumble out into my pathway, and my daughter’s cat’s litter box is no longer in the main flow of traffic.

My husband even complemented how it had all worked out with a “that is pretty good, better than I expected”. That was a huge reward for me.

One piece of my life puzzle moving closer into alignment. One deep breath of peace.

Have you paused and taken a moment to celebrate your life victories you accomplished yesterday?

What is your goal today?

Today is self care Thursday! I declared it to be just now lol. I am extremely excited to go and have a massage and adjustment. Until last week I had no idea that I could feel this much better.

Then art expression with a couple of my children this evening. The anticipation is dancing delightfully in my mind.

Think of some delight you can pamper yourself with today!

BREAKING POINT

WHAT CAN I FIX IN TEN MINUTES?

Last night I was sitting having supper with my beautiful daughter, and I was curiously watching someone work with “cards”. After my daughter told me to stop staring, which I don’t believe I was staring, I was curiously watching, we continued chatting about this and that. I hesitated for a while, weighing in my mind whether I should mention something to her or not, (a very large faith dilemma for me), then I told her that someone had randomly offered to “tell my fortune”. I told her about how I was told that there was auras or signs on me. side note : I believe that God does provide signs and auras for lack of a better word, I just believe that we have to be careful in who and what we listen to.

Anyway the real point of this story is…my daughter kind of laughed, and said to me, “Mom, I don’t know about signs, but they probably want to help you, because you look like a wreck!”

SMACK!!!

She could not have chosen, stronger words. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe there was any malice intended at all. She was just being fully and completely unfiltered and honest.

Now here is my confession….I TRY DESPERATELY TO APPEAR PUT TOGETHER, I LOVE HARD, AND GET HURT OFTEN, I SUPPRESS INSTEAD OF DIRECTLY DEALING, MY LIFE IS CLUTTERED EXTERNALLY AS WELL AS IN MY MIND AND SOUL, I AVOID CONFLICT TO THE POINT OF SO MUCH PENT UP FRUSTRATION THAT I OCCASIONALLY EXPLODE AND NOT USUALLY AT THE REAL PROBLEM BECAUSE IT WILL CAUSE CONFLICT WHICH I AVOID, MY BODY IS REBELLING AT THE WEIGHT OF WHAT I CARRY AND IF I DON’T CLEAN HOUSE I WILL PROBABLY DIE PREMATURELY!

So there you go the truth about me.

Today I choose to take Dr. Peterson’s advice, I am going to take a look at my insanely messy surroundings and in ten minute pieces I am going to begin to put it right. I am also going to water my body, that is extremely parched, from being too “busy” to keep hydrated the last few days.

How about you, what are you going to clean up today?

Road Signs

TURN NOW!

If we were driving a car, we would not ignore this warning, so why do we ignore the warnings that sound in our hearts, souls and minds?

Today’s goal is to decide on the top 5 areas of my life where the warnings have been the strongest. Dare you to join me!

Time to “clean house”, no more wallowing, pity party, excuse/blame laden training in poverty.

No one else is responsible for where you are today, and it will be no one else’s fault if you choose to stay where you are!

If you like me want lasting change in your life, you need to make it happen.

TURN THE WHEEL!

Zombie Apocalypse

I realized something yesterday while out walking, the Zombie Apocalypse has already started. That’s right zombie’s are all around us.

Zombie’s are not creatures that have crawled up out of a grave though, they are humans that are “living as if they were already dead”.

Some are trapped in cycles of blame, fear, inertia. Some are brilliant in I.Q. and absolutely dead to living to their full potential.

They expect others to care for them, whether through gifts or government handouts. They hide behind labels and excuses. Occasionally they show glimmers of life, and a desire to live again, but quickly fizzle back out.

This cycle causes fear, sorrow, absolute mourning in those that love them most. As their great potential to impact the world in a positive way slowly fades away. How does the living protect their own heart from the thousand deaths of the zombie?

But these are not the only zombies walking around. There is the other end of the spectrum also. The ones that get up every day, have careers, homes, sometimes families. The follow every rule, go to their safe job, make sure they have all the latest status symbols, but are dead inside. Their fire doesn’t burn strongly anymore, their dreams of long ago lay dusty on a shelf, their passion has been snuffed.

These zombies often help facilitate the other zombies, because it feels good to help those less fortunate. Instead of raising the bar of expectation.

There are the political and religious zombies as well, those that just eat whatever is fed to them. Not digging deeper to weigh and measure the truth factor of what is being said and directed. Very dangerous in deed because in their inattention they allow for others to be captured and pulled down from where their path is leading them.

The cure for these zombie diseases is purpose.

The way to get to purpose is discomfort and honesty.

Honestly, I believe good-hearted people, and those stuck firmly in the box feed these monsters. Maybe feeding them doesn’t work. As hard as it is do they need to go hungry. Today ask yourself, what monsters are you feeding?

Living Life or is Life Living You?

rushing

Yesterday, one phone call changed my perfectly planned day. Not that I was forced to change my plans, in fact I probably did the opposite to what was “expected” of me. I took control of the portion of the situation I could control, I quickly made a plan, I notified those involved and I took action and accomplished what needed to be done. WIN!!! …but it was not how I had planned my day.

You want to know something? That is perfectly okay! I weighed the options. I made the choice to act immediately and not wait. I took control.

How often though do I get pulled around by circumstance or pressures? How often do I just go with the flow, rushing here and there putting out fires and treading water just trying to keep up?

I have made a decision and I am committed to keeping it, “to the best of my ability, I CHOOSE TO LIVE MY LIFE, I will not be lived by my life.”

I will weigh and measure and choose! How about you, which will you choose?

Heart and Mind a mutual relationship

How often do you allow the dialog of your mind to silence the longings of your heart? Have you ever stopped and listened to what your mind is actually saying to you? Are you hearing words of encouragement or a constant dialog of not good enough?

The relationship between our heart and our mind should be like that of a phenomenal marriage. Our mind should protect us from danger and guide us, but should be stretched and grown to try the desires of our hearts, to step out of our comfort zone. To be encouraged by self.

My mind has a rather negative dialog with my heart. It is a continuous stream, at times, of not good enough, why even bother, you look stupid, your dumb, etc. As you can see, I really don’t need any other critics, I have my own that is attached.

Sometimes it isn’t even logical because the proof of my ability can be seen in black and white, and yet it will continue on, sometimes paralyzing me in very important areas of my life.

What do we do when the mind is so critical of our self that it impacts us every single day?

Sometimes all we can do is take a leap of faith! Put on your parachute and step out of the plane!

Myself I pursued certificates, from my studies I have a stack. Not for anyone else’s acknowledgement, although it is really nice to receive that, but as a measuring stick to use to beat back the voices. In fact for a long time I would kind of mention my classes quietly in some circles, but really the only one that cared was myself anyway, that’s okay, probably don’t want everyone to know how smart I am anyway, lol. They might expect more. LOL

Another area I have ventured into is art. My mind laughed at me when I thought of starting to express myself through art. But my heart knows the link between colour and emotion so I tried a piece or two. I may never be Picasso, but the release of tension and stress that I get as the colour comes together on the paper and a picture is exposed, that in itself is priceless therapy.

My point is that we can be controlled by the voices in our head, they can even cause great amounts of damage to the depths of our souls. Or we can stand up to them, we can take control of the moment, we can try something different.

Be aware of the words your mind is telling you, capture them, measure them, make them prove that they are right or prove them wrong. YOU are the only one that can silence the negative dialog and sometimes, you never know something beautiful may come of it!

Autumn light

Hooks

Why is so easy to bite onto the hooks that keep you fighting what is best for you?

A slight alteration of tone, a poor plan, a lack of sleep…ugliness can slip through and paralyze progress.

Better not to bite, but at least sometimes it is possible to spit out the hook, swallow the worm, recognize the triggers, apologize and move on.

Keeping in mind, there may be a fresh wound that without proper care could fester and infect.

Better look for the balm for the spiritual wound and make sure the infection does not take hold.

Now to deal with the objects that triggered the tone and pray for the healing of the spirit because of a careless word with a very sharp edge.

Wishing my muse would make an appointment!

Have you ever wished your muse would stick to business hours, lol.

3:30 am she started whispering in my ear, all I wanted to do was sleep. Should I have gotten up and recorded her whispers? My bed was so warm and snug…I was unprepared to write this tribute she was speaking, painful and fresh.

After much argument I drifted back to sleep and only a moment later the alarm sounded, discussions on Christmas albums filled my tired, resistant mind. I am still not ready to write the tribute of which we spoke.

“Is Love and Tolerance Different or the Same Thing?”

Ok my dear friend and mentor, you knew I couldn’t resist a question like this, so like a big fat fish to a lure, I bite. LOL

First it will greatly depend on your definition of love. If you are in the mindset that love is that mushy gushy feeling or adrenaline rush, that you get when you are attracted to someone or something. Tolerance does not necessarily fit very well within this because it would taint your impression of whatever you are mushy or gushy about.

So what is “love” anyway?

In my heart: “Love is patient, Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is very much a verb, it is a set of actions, that require, effort and self control.

According to Merriam-Webster’s https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tolerance the definition of tolerance is :

Definition of tolerance

1 : capacity to endure pain or hardship : endurance, fortitude, stamina 2a : sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own b : the act of allowing something : toleration 3 : the allowable deviation from a standard especially : the range of variation permitted in maintaining a specified dimension in machining a piece 4a(1) : the capacity of the body to endure or become less responsive to a substance (such as a drug) or a physiological insult especially with repeated use or exposure developed a tolerance to painkillers also : the immunological state marked by unresponsiveness to a specific antigen (2) : relative capacity of an organism to grow or thrive when subjected to an unfavorable environmental factor b : the maximum amount of a pesticide residue that may lawfully remain on or in food

Assuming that my friend’s question was directly in respect to parts 1 and 2 of the above definition. Then it must be assumed that if my understanding of love is correct then tolerance is an expression of love, remember that love is a verb not a noun.

BUT and here is the BIG BUT, the definition of love includes “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,” Therefore one must always ask if what they are “tolerating” lines us with the rest of the definition of love.

If what the other believes is unjust, hurts them-self or someone else, then it is no longer loving to tolerate it.

Love is greater than tolerance, because love has a very high standard to follow, tolerance is just an expression of love. Therefor NO love and tolerance is NOT the same thing!

I’m not waiting for anybody

Beautiful, tenacious, funny, cute, snugly, intelligent, impatient and a bit of a sneaky bully! That’s my Maggy!

I remember so clearly the happenings of the day and night she was born.

I remember the doctor telling me, no, you still have another week. I remember telling his receptionist that although this fifth child was not presenting me with “normal” signs of imminent birth, something very real and strange was going on.

I remember going to the job site my husband was on and asking him if he would be willing to deliver this kid, because I didn’t feel quite right. Him saying no, but we decided still to stay at home and save money as apposed to spending the night in a motel closer to the hospital.

I remember when she not so subtly, “knocked” to get out. Not labour, no, not Maggy, the rules don’t apply to Maggy. LOL

I remember almost having her on the off ramp on the way to the wrong hospital, and only sheer will power preventing her from being born on the front seat of the car. We certainly were not going to make it to the correct hospital.

I remember…and I share this story over and over, it’s a great story, but Maggy is so much more than the story of her birth.

She certainly fits the mold of youngest, dare I say spoiled, child. She can wiggle out from under tasks, she knows just how to say things to draw attention to her siblings, and if that fails a careful pinch, and a yelp will usually help her cause. But I am onto her now! lol

Maggy is my cling-on, the kid that has been attached to my leg from toddlerhood. For the first 5 or 6 years of her life she wouldn’t speak in front of anyone outside of the immediate family, and would not shut-up when no one else was around.

Maggy is an animal lover and animals seem to love her right back. She has had very close relationships with a horse friend and most recently a kitten that is ‘temporarily’ visiting our house. Polly the princess pony would come running when Maggy drew near.

Maggy wants to learn to cook. Her dream is to become a chef. (Well for now.)

Maggy is amazing, her personality is vibrant and loving and developing new depths everyday!

Today I thank the Lord for Maggy, for all she taught me through the years, for all I have yet to learn.

Happy birthday baby girl, may all of your dreams come true!