On being a mom: lessons of life

I think the most surprising thing I learned when I became a mom is that as you raise your children, your children are raising you. Life lessons are never a one way street.

I have learned to never try to guess the end of the story, life is like a map being drawn as you put your foot out to step, and not every path leads to where you think it will.

The kids have shown me that no matter how hard you try to avoid education, it happens anyway.

Being silly sometimes makes life worth living. Laughter is a great way to defuse stress.

Trying/retrying something you never thought you could do or like can open up adventures and abilities that bring joy and relaxation. You might be surprised what you ‘can’ do.

Surprise! The same DNA/family culture does not equal sameness in children! Everyone is unique.

Always ask, “will this matter tomorrow?”. Don’t sweat the small stuff, as the quote goes, it is all small stuff.

Most importantly, no matter how bad you think you have screwed up, LOVE is ALWAYS the answer. If you do nothing else, love your kids fully and they will be alright.

Thanks kiddos for helping to mold me into me!

P.S. As the kids get older the size of your family may grow.

Sunshine, swimming pools, and dogs

Today’s great adventure…

Go Belly!

My daughter asked me a few weeks back to take her to a dock diving dog training workshop.

I love to spend time with my oldest girl whenever I can. Now that she lives away from home, every chance is special to me.

Today was that day. Not too hot, but got a little too much sun on my knees. Not raining, that was good.

Bellamy thought it was an awesome sport, fetch and swimming all rolled into one.

Picnic lunch.

Dogs, dogs, dogs.

Fresh air.

Happy kid.

Perfect day!

Gone fishin’

First fish of the year!

Favourite pass time of the family is shore fishing (we would canoe but someone stole ours).

Last night for fun we went to a little lake not far off. After some sandwiches, then came sqimish giggles from the girls about baiting the hook.

Fred went down the shore a bit with fake bait and came back in short order with the first catch of the year. A real fighter! We soon released him back to the wild.

Practicing for ‘cod’ one day!

Zoa learning of the “best” hole, soon came up with her own catch.

I myself stayed busy baiting Mag’s hook and snapping pics of the flora and fauna.

Lady slipper

Tim showed me this beauty and I discovered a few other wonders.

When I returned to home base I found Stephanie teaching Maggy a new fishing technique.

We now call her “the fish whisperer”.

Can’t hardly wait for the next fish adventure, so they can show me how it’s done!

Enemies and rewards

THE ENEMIES!

Cripplingly painful feet!
Too much weight!
The mighty mosquito swarms!

There are so many reasons to NOT get up early, lace up the sneakers, and head out the front door.

The mosquitoes are crazy right now, the pollen is thick in the air, and face it who wants to roll out of bed in the morning to hit the road and get the heart pumping.

Funny with the exception of feeding the mosquitoes, two of the enemies are part of the motivation to go.

More reasons to suck it up, time spent with my handsome son who unlike other 15 year olds still wants to spend time with his mom.

The quiet of the morning or the riveting sound of the motivators voice on the podcasts we listen to. Trying to encourage him to strive for greatness, whatever that looks like for him.

Then there is just the joy of being in nature, the beautiful surprises we find.

We may not make it every morning, I have to accept my limits for now, but every time we go is one step closer to the goal. And there is always the precious treasures we find.

REWARDS

Baby toads, thumb nail size
Pathways to far-far-away, in my dreams
Pink trilliums

Sweet taste of memories!

Too much to resist!

Strawberry socials, I might be aging myself, but my grandparents would take me every year for my birthday to the little country church social.

I remember so well anticipating the strawberry shortcake, while hurrying through all the homemade salads and ham. Although I did saveur a good deviled egg or two or three.

The lines were always long, but people would chat and catch up as we waited for the next sitting. The heat of late June, and the amount of rain we had gotten, farmers predicting the bounty of the summer crops, who was getting married, new babies including calves and pigs, were just some of the topics. The old people always asking if I was excited about summer break, how school went and remarking on how much I look like my grandma or mother. It really was social.

It’s kinda bitter sweet thinking on these things, as time has flown past. My grandpa is just a memory, my grandma is struggling after a stroke to keep hers.

But I could not pass by this sweet memory plant today, as a million emotions fleeted through my mind, the promises of pleasure hanging from it’s vine.

The girls garden, a “no dig- garden extraordinaire”, or like I call it “Maggy’s not raised, raised garden”

The bare bones! A bit of stubborn grass to take out but good to go.

We had a tree growing up to our power lines. That wouldn’t do, unfortunately it had to come down.

Tim cut it as close to the ground as he could but what were we going to do with the spot.

I dreamed of having a garden there, it’s right on the corner of our lot where people drive in. As I was chatting about it, Maggy who was 9 at the time asked if she could have a garden.

Maggy planting her favorite snapdragons.

As I used to dream big when it comes to gardens, start strong, and fizzle because of not prioritizing weeding, (the gardening “bug” had not fully infested me yet) I was hesitant. But when your child wants a garden, you give them a garden. Besides the stump was inconvenient to mow around.

Now this little patch is one of my favourite flower patches in the yard.

We started by mowing down the grass. Then my husband put several inches of aged cedar sawdust on. This prevented the weeds and grass from taking over.

The thing to remember is that if grass struggles to grow, so will a lot of the plants you want to grow. So for every plant placed in the garden you pull back the sawdust, amend the hole, plant your plant and pull the sawdust back around to hold the moisture.

Works amazingly, and looks pretty too!

Girl fun!

Morning Light

There is something magical about the early morning light, the air crisp, smells magnified, naturally noisy with bird songs floating to my ears.

Pushing, pounding heart, lungs filling with the freshest of air.

This early morning training session with my son Fred, this felt like living.

Simple, didn’t cost anything, a memory, time well spent, an investment in the future.

Magically wonderful!

Stranger in my hometown

I don’t know if it’s because I am getting older, or if it’s because the ones I love are getting older and passing on? But I went back “home” the other day to do an errand and the strangest sensation overcame me as I was getting closer to town.

I moved away from my hometown right after high school. I guess part of the reason I moved was to find adventure, to find a job, to make a life. The rest of the reason, and probably more of a driving reason, now that I am honest with myself, was to run away from the pain and loss. The feelings of betrayal and being unseen, that threatened to destroy me there. It is crazy to think that a person can be so unaware of their own motivation in the moment.

As things turned out, for multiple reasons through the years, I did not get back very often to visit. The few times I did the town would be changed, the buildings, the businesses and even the people. I remember still talking like I belonged there, that it was my “hometown”, it was part of me after all. But as time past the people were foreign to me, the names unfamiliar.

This visit was different. As I approached the little village, that I had spent many hours walking around, playing at the park, buying candy at the store, I was overwhelmed by a sensation of loss and of not belonging any more.

It came to me, I am a stranger in “my own home town”!

Many of the anchors of my life, grandparents, the farm, aunts and uncles are gone from there. The family that remain and my friends all have lives I barely know anything about. Social media reveals some things, but really what happened to the meaningful relationships? Jobs, kids, finances, responsibility get in the way of connections.

Life was different back then. How far I have traveled away from connections, that I thought would never end.

Time is fleeting, and sometimes cruel. Moment by moment, it moves on, and we can only see the shadows of the time that have passed through our lives.

Where is my “home” now? I realize that “home” is really not a place at all. “Home” is a community. “Home” is connections. “Home” is family and friends that spend time together.

As for time? It is time to make time for our “community” and find the joy of belonging with each other! Time for building “home”!

(P.S. Anyone from “back home”, that wants to connect or reconnect, would really love to hear from you!)